BV COLUMN - MY STORY

BEING MEAN TO GET LOVE

Hello LAY how are you doing? I just came across your blog a month ago and I am already in love. Your blog is the realest! Ok so I have an issue I want to address and I know BV will help me out. I have realized that guys only like me when I give them shit to eat (pardon my language) or when I don't feel for them. 

But seriously, from all the guys I have dated, the only ones that seem to really love me are the ones I am very mean to, if I start to show that I am feeling them and want to be lovey-dovey they will just start misbehaving like no something is wrong with their head. Ok I am a fine yellow paw paw girl and I have had severalllllll admiration from guys since childhood and I kind of didn't know how to handle that so I just did excess shakara. 

Anyways the first time I really got serious to date someone I waited for him to ask me out while giving him hints but he never did after ONE YEAR of waiting I told him guy oh somebody is asking me out are you ready or not but he was still doing slowslow so I just vexed and dated the other guy that was asking me out. I didn't even have feelings for my bf I just dated out of vex but he turned out to be a very good bf. Anyways this guy I initially liked came back and started whining he loves me, he was just scared because when we were younger I fought with him when he mentioned his feelings etc (duh we were young). 

After that, The way that I just messed this guy up with shakara, seriously I really did some major damage to this guys ego and I am very sorry about that. I hurt this boy so much that even I got scared that God will punish me 

( I am forgiven, Jesus has fixed me Amen!). 

After all the hurt he still feels for me. I have moved on with my life and I do not have any feelings for him at all again but each time I remember the pain I caused him and feel guilty, I go and chat him up to apologize. Everytime I do this he is very happy and thinks we are coming back together and starts planning the future etc (he hasn't moved on) I just get weak like why do you still love me oh. I have resulted to not replying him again so that he can move on with his life. But he still messages me on Christmas, and my birthday EVERY YEAR even as I have stopped replying him.

Moving on, the other guys I dated, the next one I said ok I would not be mean I would show love. This guy did me strong thing that I nearly organised boys to beat him (Jesus stopped me). That one passed oh so the next one I said infact I will be mean (stylishly, not severe like my first love because I am now a christian) and this one too started professing love oh, we had some re-currant petite issues (not infidelity) and me I was getting too angry about addressing it again and again (I hate being angry cos my temper is really bad) so I broke up with him like what rubbish. 

But every time I talk to him he will say baby I (him) messed up, I am so sorry etc i love you bla bla come back.

This is the pattern in my love life oh, and it wouldn't have been a problem but I am getting tired of being mean to guys, I don't want to continue this kinda thing jor its rather stressful can't I just love a guy let him love me without me having to suffer him. And without him taking advantage of my love. Guys why do you call punishment love? Why do you love the girl that will show you pepper and the one that will love you and be caring you will want to do her anyhow what is wrong with you people? 

Also ladies please advise me oh how should I go about this. I am getting ready to really get into the dating scene again So I wanna really prepare myself oh (sweet marriage things amen). You guys should advise me oh, no insults abeg

DUMPED.

Good day Lay, I will like you to publish my mail because I need advice, I am a young guy in early thirties, fell in love with my babe in 2010, and since then we had been together, and when i met her, she was doing nothing, she had no job, I registered her for stylists and makeup school for almost 2 years, after that, i used my last savings to open a shop for her in Abule Egba bus stop, and only GOD knows how much it cost me to get the shop and buy things in that shop,  Despite that my family were against it.

Lay as i am talking to you right now the young lady that promised me everything at the start of our relationship, is now telling me she can no longer be with me,  that she's tired of me having nothing, i told her why didn't she tell me this before i did all this, she said she had suffered a lot from my family and the insults was just too much that she can no longer spend the rest of life with me, she said i am not the kind of man she wished to spend the rest of her life with.

 Right now i don't know what to do, should i get the shop back from her or i should forget about everything and move on with my life

Please I need matured advice, because she visits this blog.

Thanks.